Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
