Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Randomize
Follow @tfln