I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.