Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
