I'm laying in your front yard are you home
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
