Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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