Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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