it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
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Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I am available for nakedness
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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