At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
