Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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