I need help removing her.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize