Sry I called you an 8
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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