Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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