Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
