you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
