I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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