Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize