This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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