i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize