A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
