i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well I just put wine in my tea
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
