Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize