He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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