all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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