the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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