hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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