You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
