He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
