I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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