so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
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Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
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I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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