i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
