Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
