Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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