Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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