Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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