marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
