Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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