that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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