woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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