If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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