i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
