He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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