I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
