Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
