It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
