You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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