I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize