Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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