it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Randomize
