hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
