I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
