i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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