I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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