Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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