I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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