Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
