just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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