Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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