I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
