you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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