just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
