were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
