my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
