you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
