Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
