that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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