How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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