I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
