So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
