we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I can't turn off my feet"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
