Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I woke up under a house in Key West
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
