Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
