Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
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