sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
