The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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